Another potential set-up...

About a month ago, one of my friends randomly texted me about a potential set-up. She gave me some info about the guy and asked if she could move forward. Because I'm apparently a glutton for punishment, I told her she could set something up, but keep it casual - maybe a group thing.

Cut to 3 weeks later and I'm on the phone with a mutual friend of ours. This friend asks me how my date went. Um, what? Huh?

I realize I can be overly snippy, but here were my immediate thoughts.

1) I'd not heard ANYthing about a date with this person for over 3 weeks.
2) Why would someone else that's not involved with the date, know about it before the person actually going on the date?

Things like this get to me...and it's largely why I abhor being set up. I informed the mutal friend that nothing had been set up and that I hadn't heard anything for a while. To which she says, "Oh, well I'll follow up with her on that."

Um, why would YOU follow up with her? Is this YOUR date? I don't think so. This is actually MY potential date, and I'll follow up with her if I want to. I don't really need you to intervene for me, I'm 34. Again, I know my friend thought she was helping, but I guess I'm just saying it isn't really her place to do so.

So, this friend checks up on the situation and then I get an email from the original setter upper. Apparently someone was out of town and that's why there was a delay in setting up. Anyway, now we are in the "planning" phase, potentially something next week.

When someone offers to set me up, and I agree, I guess I just don't feel it's my job to then hound them and ask about it all the time. I figured my friend had either a) forgotten about the whole thing or b) was in process. I'm not going to go chasing it down - especially when I didn't initiate. That's just me, I guess.

The other thing, our mutal friend has now been invited. A while back, I decided to stop telling people when/if I was being set up. Of course, I tell my blog readers - duh! But, it just got too hard fielding the many phone calls the day after a date and having to explain why I did/didn't like the guy/date. So, I find it's easier to keep it to myself and whomever sets us up and only tell very close friends or whomever I choose. When I went out with Ben #2 last year - there was no way to NOT tell friends, because a ton of them were there the night we met. Ugh.

It was a hard lesson to learn and took me a while, but I've committed to it! And I hadn't told ANYone about this setup. But then my friend tells our mutual friend and voila...people now know. And I'd prefer that friend isn't there, because she tends to tell me how I acted. Like, whether I looked at the guy, talked to the guy, laughed, didn't laugh, etc. I'm not a dream date, but I do know from experience that I'm totally fine on a date - friendly, animated, etc. So, I don't need an audience, thank you. I figured the "group" would be me, the guy, my friend and maybe his friend who thought of the setup? Random people...

So, you may read this and think, "Holy crap, she is highly sensitive!" And I get that. But hopefully you'll see some of my points?

Has anything similar happened to any of you?