Purpose

I've been thinking a lot about my purpose in life lately. And I may have mentioned in one of my earlier posts, that if this is my life...well, I'm not satisfied.

Here's an average day for me. I wake up, get ready for work, go to work (a job I don't necessarily love), work out, do one of my many side jobs (that I don't need, but just do them anyway), go home, eat, watch tv, and go to bed. Repeat.

While I realize that is likely a common day for many people, I just think I'm over it. I'm someone who thrives on busy-ness and responsibility. This is likely one of the reasons I have those side jobs/committees.

But, if I really think about the "extras" in my life. I don't have a strong desire to do any of them. I just do them, plain & simple.

What is the alternative? I could not do them...and then I'd have more free time to sit on my butt and think about being single/childless and no closer to fixing that area of my life. So, I keep on keepin' on.

This got me thinking about married people (with/without children). When you're married (I assume) you likely have more of a purpose. You have a responsibility to your spouse - emotionally, financially, your home, your meals, etc. They would notice if you just didn't come home one night. Same is true if you have kids. You can't go unnoticed when you have children. They require your attention - whether it be feeding them, going to their events, tending to their boo boos.

You have purpose. Simple as that. And honestly, that is how I'd like to be spending my free time at this stage of my life. Truly, that is what I'd like to be doing.

Now, I'm certainly not saying that we singles don't have a purpose. That is utterly depressing! I'm saying, for me, I'm to the point where I'm just not sure what my purpose is. If I'm not meant to be married & have kids (which is not everyone's purpose in life), then what is my purpose here? I feel like my life is ho hum and not really going anywhere.

I know, I'm a daughter, a sister, an aunt, a friend, etc., and those are important roles. And I appreciate that. But the truth is, I could leave town for a week, with no notice, and it wouldn't really matter. And that is what gets me.

I'm sure there are some who would say, "You can't get married/have kids just to get attention." But that's not really what I'm saying here. Also, please don't misinterpret what I'm saying as some cry for help that I'm going to harm myself/run away. I'm not. :-)

Anyone else "get" what I'm saying here?