What is the financial benefit to being single?

Well, it's that time of year.  Time to do taxes. 

Typically, I get a small refund from both Federal and State.  And my accountant has always told me that's how it should be, that I'm doing it right.  Yet everyone I know seems to get a gigantic refund.  And yes, they're all married.  Some with kids.  Some without.  What am I doing wrong? 

This year, I'm so lucky.  I get to PAY IN to Federal, for the first time EVER!  Oh, the joy.  I'm getting a small refund back from State.  So, I'm basically breaking even.  And I realize it could be worse.  I could be paying a crapload in and not break even at all. 

But still.  HOW does everyone I know get a big refund?  What the frick?  And I don't know enough about taxes, etc...but I have to think that being married has something to do with it.  And obviously, kids are deductions, so I know for sure they have something to do with it. 

Now, I don't see kids as deductions.  That's not what I'm saying.  I'm just saying that you can claim them as dependents/deductions.  And yes, I realize kids are expensive.  I'm aware. 

Here I am, a pretty hard worker, working 3 jobs...and I don't get a giant refund?  Ugh. 

With the mood I'm in, this just makes me more angry.  It's like I'm being penalized by the country/state for being single and childless.  This seems unfair.

I already support myself on one income, while many of my married friends have TWO incomes to pay the SAME bills I do.  And then additional costs for kids, yes.

Married people love to make comments to single people about their disposable income.  "Oh, you can afford to do that.  You're single."  No, I can't, actually.  I'm paying all of my bills on this one income.  And it's probably less than half of what you and your spouse bring in each year.  I don't have a spouse to discuss/plan finances with.  I'm just winging it.  Cry me a river, married people.  I don't think you're rich.  But I do think you have some financial advantages that I wish I had.       

Along those lines, let's talk about coupons.  I'm not a crazy couponer.  In fact, I rarely use them, unless I have one that came in the mail.  BUT, have you ever noticed that most coupons are "buy one get two free?"  Or something like that?  Yeah.  Cuz if I buy one 8 pack of toilet paper, I'm definitely gonna need two more of those.  Um, NO.  And really, those type of coupons are for food a lot of the time.  Food expires.  So, I can't eat that many of whatever the coupon is for...and therefore I don't get the "deal."  Or pizza coupons..."buy 2 for x amount" or "buy 1 for x (much larger) amount." 

So, you can see why I don't use a lot of coupons.

Alright, I think two bitter posts in one day is enough.  Right?  ;-)

Some people are lucky...and the real world is going to suck for them.

WARNING:  This is basically a post that will allow me to vent about something that frustrates the crap out of me.

I've got a friend who has quite the charmed life.  In fact, most of my childhood friends had a charmed life, especially in comparison to mine.  (That said, I'm fully aware that MANY have had far worse childhoods than mine.)

I grew up with a single parent, moved around to multiple crappy apartments, and had a dad who didn't do much OR pay child support.  So, money wasn't abounding in our house.  My mom did the best she could, though.  But I didn't grow up going on fun/fancy vacations to wonderfully fun destinations.  I grew up in a home that was constantly worried about money.  I've been working since I was 14 years old.  And college? I worked my a$$ off to get good grades, in order to qualify for scholarships.  I then paid every DIME of it myself.  My dad may have slipped me a $20 a few times, but I was pretty much on my own.

Let's talk about my friend's life...

He is 25 years old and still living at home.  His happily married parents have provided well for he and his 26 year old brother (also still living at home).  They have paid for his entire undergraduate degree/schooling. They've paid for his car, and I suspect, his cell phone.  He then decided to go to graduate school to get his Masters.  Um, his parents are ALSO paying for that.  ALL of it.  He has no real bills...because if you're living at home, you're eating their groceries and using their utilities/cable/etc.

So, his girlfriend is going to live in Greece for nearly a year, and he's planning to go out there.  Last I talked to him, he wasn't sure how he'd get the flight.  Recently, I asked him and sort of said, "Did your parents go ahead and buy your plane ticket?"  His answer?  "Yes, it's my graduation present."  ARE YOU KIDDING ME?  He sensed my impending smug comment.  I said, "Well, I think your graduation present is ALL that they've done for you thus far." He gets a little annoyed with me, and I should keep my mouth shut, I know.  But I can't help but voice my opinion!

I saw him at work today and his dad came in.  They were talking, and it sounded like they were talking about a car wash.  His dad came to his work to take his car and get it washed.  What?  Huh?  And I didn't bite my tongue, again.  So, he was annoyed that I commented.  And then he said, "His reward is that I'm a good son."  He was complaining that this place he goes charges $13.  Um, you have ZERO bills!  I think you can fricking afford a car wash and not allow your dad to get it for you!  Now, this guy is a good guy.  Mature and responsible.  However, it isn't hard to be responsible when you don't have many responsibilities, other than school and a relationship.  

I was ready to leave work today and he could tell I was antsy.  He said, "Just hold on, a few more minutes..."  I said, "Well, some of us have worked 50+ hours this week."  And then he called me a martyr, blah blah blah.  I wasn't trying to be a martyr, but he has ZERO clue what the world is like, in my opinion.  And I fear if he ever has to do things 100% on his own, he will not be prepared for it or be able to deal with it.  And that isn't my problem, I know.

And I'm not gonna lie, of course there's a part of me that is jealous of his situation.  But I honestly hope that if my parents had done for me what his have done for him, that I wouldn't even accept or entertain them purchasing my plane ticket.  Graduation present?  I'm 99.9% sure I never got a graduation present from my parents...high school OR college.

Am I crazy?  And I already know that it's not my business and I should not be making snide comments to him.  But, for some reason, my mouth just opens up!

I guess it's frustrating to watch people have a pretty charmed existence, while I've had to work my butt off for everything I have.

End rant. 

Independence...

Here's a positive - I paid off my student loans last week! 

This is huge.  Because, my parents did not provide any assistance to me for college.  Nada.  Zip.  Nothing.  Nyet. 

I worked my a$$ off in high school to get good grades and be "well rounded" so that I'd qualify for any and every scholarship possible.  I then applied/auditioned for those scholarships/grants and got as many as I could.

I also worked throughout the school year/summer, to earn spending money for while I was in school.  This includes buying my own books/materials.   

Now, I'm not saying I expected my parents to put me through college.  I guess I expected that they would have maybe done SOMEthing to assist, though?  (I didn't really expect that, based on my upbringing and the lack of financial smarty-ness going on.) 

But, when you're surrounded by friends whose parents were either paying for their entire college education or a large portion of it, it's a little frustrating to be 18 and figuring it out on your own. 

I overloaded my schedule in college, so I could graduate within a somewhat normal timeframe.  I also did work study - 2 jobs - and probably worked a total of 20-25 hours a week.  And I was super involved in on campus activities.  (I was one of those kids who ran out of workstudy money and had to apply for more.) 

So, I was basically stressed all the time - and completely swamped.

My reward for all of that?  I got to pay back all the money I borrowed - with zero help from my parents!  YAY!  WOOHOO! 

So, at 22, single, I got to start making nearly $300/month payments on my loans.  Awesome. 

During the repayment, I was out of work twice, so I had to put them on hold.  And I still managed to pay them off in 13 years.  By myself. 

I keep stressing the "by myself" part, because most of my friends either had help from their parents or their spouse's additional salary.  They have NO IDEA what it's like to have to do this on your own.   

So, while I wouldn't choose having to do it this way.  I did have to do it this way.  And, hopefully, in some way, it will prepare me for something in life. 

Most importantly, it feels good to know they're DONE!  And that I can now save/spend that money as I see fit. 

By the way, no judgment on those who had their education paid for...but I do think there's a different appreciation when you foot the bill yourself.  My friends have no idea the work/stress I went through, because they didn't have to do it themselves.