OK, we've now passed official date #2 with "Ben." The date went well and I had a good time. We finished it off by watching a movie at his house. Before your dirty minds go anywhere...it was all good clean fun. But, he is definitely moving things along. (We saw each other Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.)
So, when I got home...I had this weird feeling of, "Do I like him?" That sent me into a stress spiral for the rest of the weekend.
For all intents and purposes, this guy is doing everything right. I mean, he's a lot of the things I've always said I wanted in a person. And, I do like that he is those things.
But, I'm trying to figure out if it's moving too quickly? Because, I went from being excited that he's texting me...to not sure whether I like him.
Granted, we still hardly know each other. So, I definitely want to continue to get to know him and see what happens. But, I also want to figure out what my "deal" is!
I think I'm under a lot of pressure (unintentional) from friends. I can't tell you how many people ask about it...and then get overly girly excited. It's too much for me. I find it odd that they freak out more than I do! So, part of me feels like I'm going to be "in trouble" or "too picky" if it doesn't work out.
I know I need to just listen to myself and trust my own heart. But, I don't want to miss out on a great guy because I'm scared. I also don't want to force myself to date someone that just isn't a match (for whatever reason).
I am very independent and I haven't really ever had a serious relationship. My guess is that these are big contributors of my little panic attack. I'm sure my mind is thinking, "Really? This fast? So unexpected..."
So, for now, I'm going to keep seeing where this goes. And maybe, as he and I get to know one another better, I can just tell him that I need it to move slowly.
Any advice from my fellow bloggers would be much appreciated!!!
7 months ago
Oh good grief! It never gets easy! I had 6 dates within the first week with my (late) husband and it didn't feel too fast. That's never going to happen again, I realise, but it doesn't stop me from obsessing about someone I've met now that I wanted to see again and he wants to go slow. . . far too slow for me. . . there are no answers!
ReplyDeleteI think the best advice is to listen to your heart. No one else can know but you if you like the guy, if it's OK, if you're too picky or whatever. Don't listen to anyone else who gives you advice that you're "Too" whatever. Clearly your friends are excited for you because you're dating someone you think you like. They want it to work out for you.
Try and do the things you'd normally do, don't put your life on hold to be free to see the new guy, and then check and see if you're excited next time you've got a new date planned. If you're excited to see him, good, if not, don't see him. If you feel pressured or not quite comfortable going that fast, as you say, let him know. You can only do what's right for you, and it doesn't hurt to be honest with him and let him know how you feel.
Sorry, that's really crap advice. Haven't helped you at all. Hope it all goes well anyway. Good luck!
Josie x
@Josie - thank you! I think that is great advice, and I will take it! For now, I think slower is better, until we really get to know each other. Thanks again!
ReplyDeleteI'm with Josie. While I'm excited that you found a 'good guy' (although far less entertaining for us to read, ya' know ;-) ), you just have to do what you feel. Fast, slow, see him, don't, whatever ~ it needs to be according to whatever you feel comfortable with.
ReplyDeleteI met a 'great' guy last month. We had a terrific time together. Guess what? He wasn't 'great' for me.
Although easier said than done, just try to go with it, don't put too much pressure on yourself and tell him that you need to take things slow and then guage how you feel about 'things'.
I am usually guilty of trying to envision far in the future with people, so don't often give anyone a chance. That's a mistake. I think you have your head on pretty straight about this one and I'm keeping good thoughts for you!
If your gut thinks it's moving too fast, it probably is. After all, you don't really know each other very well so whatever is hyping it up is probably more about desire than reality. I say keep at it until it feels right, but slow it down a bit. eleanore The Spinsterlicious Life
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