Worst deejay EVER & a few other things...

So, I attended a wedding reception last weekend. The bride is a casual friend from work...aka, I was shocked to be invited to the reception. Another male friend of hers/mine was going, so at least I wasn't totally going to be alone.

Now, it's safe to say, this girl, her new hubby, and their friends/family were not going to be my type of crowd. And, I'm NOT judging...but it directly correlates to the number of tattoos they all have...compared to the zero I have.

I have friends with tattoos...but this was on a whole new level. It was more of a biker crowd. And again, that is fine. But I tend to not have much in common with that crowd.

People were dressed ridiculously casual for a wedding reception...but I digress.

So, my friend and I sat at a table with two other couples, who work where the bride and I work. I didn't know either couple particularly well, but well enough to chit chat. So, the one couple was newly married and I'd never formally met either of them. Literally, we JUST met that night (this is important in the coming story). We were all friendly enough, just basic chit chat.

All of us ate our meals and then talked about getting some cake. There were 3 flavors - chocolate, champagne, and red velvet. So, the newlyweds decided to try a few flavors and brought them back.

My friend and I did the same thing. I grabbed 2 pieces of red velvet and went back to the table. He grabbed 2 pieces of champagne and brought them back. Now, he grabbed me a giant piece of champagne. I was like, "What the heck? Why such a big piece?" But, whatever.

So, I ate my red velvet - it was delish - and left my champagne cake to sit for a bit. Later on, I was waiting for my friend, and bored, so I was sort of picking at the champagne cake. Please note, I was not MOWING down on it or shoving it in my face.

Mr. Newlywed Stranger Guy Whom I Don't Know & Doesn't Know Me says, "Wow, you must really like cake!" And then he and his wife proceed to laugh. I was more than irritated, but handled it well. I said, "Well, yah, this is good. And I'm a runner, so I can eat things like this." And then it got quiet. I sort of stopped eating my cake, as I was a bit self conscious. He then said, "Oh, sorry..." (Side note: this guy and his wife were not particularly thin/fit people. they weren't fat, but I'm just saying...not fit either)

Uh huh.

Here's the thing. I'm not a Sensitive Sally, I promise. But I think that's a pretty bold comment to make to a complete stranger. If I were sitting next to a 500 pound stranger, who was eating 6 pieces of cake, it still wouldn't occur to me to say something like that. Not to mention, I myself am not a large individual...so do we need to comment on whether or not I like cake?

I guess I just feel like he was a little too comfortable saying that. And most of my friends have agreed. Your thoughts?

I just want to eat my food and not be watched/bothered about it. Furthermore, I don't give a crap what you eat. Go to town! Eat UP, I say!

Anyway, on to the deejay. From the get go, this guy was AWFUL. He really liked to hear himself talk. He went on and on about the night, then gave us the schedule for the evening, then "riffed" a little more, and THEN someone gave a prayer before we lined up to eat.

As we waited for our table to get in line for food...we were subjected to the many moronic things this guy was saying. And you could tell other people were annoyed as well.

So, they start the dancing, with the first dance for the couple. Situation normal.

Then they do the father/daughter dance. No problem.

And then, then, he brings ALL the married couples to the teeny tiny dance floor. I have no problem with this...other than the tiny pathetic group left sitting at random tables. You know, the SINGLE people. GASP!

So, he talks for what seemed like 30 minutes...basically saying they were going to put music on and during the dance, couples married less than 5 years leave the dance floor, then 10, and so on. We've seen this before, right?

Usually it's done within a few minutes, no?

Well, he talked ad nauseum...about God knows what and it lasted forEVER! It took extremely long just to get to the point where you had the 4 couples who'd been married more than 50 years left...and they looked exhausted! He then walked around to each couple...asking when/how they got married. None of the couples had too much to say. It was so painful. But, he kept talking anyway!

FINALLY, that horrific display was over.

Not so fast, my friend. Not so fast.

The famous "chicken dance" was about to start and the bride grabbed me to go on the dance floor. So, I grabbed my friend - that's only fair, right? As I'm approaching the dance floor, I say (under my breath, and sarcastically), "This is so unfair." Well, the deejay heard me and proceeded to repeat what I said...into his MICROPHONE! He then proceeded to harp on me for the next 5 minutes, for no reason, in front of everyone.

I was mortified. The one thing I do NOT want, is attention on me. Especially when I'm not doing anything of note.

At this point, I'm hoping he'll leave me alone. But I don't notice that the bride has, for some reason, told him I'm a chicken dance expert (he'd asked, I guess). So, he announces my name, everyone looks at me, and he continues to say my name and point to me.

Another 5 minutes go by, him talking...blah blah blah.

Finally, we are ready to start the chicken dance. During the dance, he calls out the stuff and then tells people to look at me for direction. Honestly, I wanted to crawl into a hole. Nightmare.

Bottom line, this guy sucked. I've been to a lot of weddings, people. A LOT. Trust me when I say he is the worst deejay I've ever had the displeasure of being around.

Awful.