Dilemma...

I know, long time no post. I'm still single...but life is actually pretty good. This post relates to something else.

A good friend of mine recently revealed to me that her marriage was struggling. I met with her a few times, supported her, and spent time talking about it. I even put her up in my home for a few nights. They made the decision to divorce (I'm friends with both of them), but seemed to go back and forth.

Then this friend would tell me reasons why things weren't going right, things that were going on with her, etc. And nothing seemed to match up for me, but I've never been through what they're going through - so what do I know?

Well, as of today, this friend and I haven't spoken since she stayed at my house...which was about a month ago. I've called a few times and she has not returned those calls. I've met with her husband to talk - as a friend - and feel like I've been in better contact with him.

Anyway, he called me last night asking if I wanted to tickets to something, which I couldn't attend. I asked him if everything was ok with her, since she hasn't returned calls or spoken to me. He confirmed they are getting a divorce and then I could tell something was off.

He got uncomfortable and I could tell he wanted to tell me something. So I told him he didn't have to tell me anything and that I didn't want him uncomfortable, but that I felt like something was up, since she's not speaking to me. He put my mind at ease by confirming that it had nothing to do with me.

And then he let it out... She cheated on him...and the relationship with that person is still ongoing.

He was not spiteful about it, either. It tore him up to reveal that to me, and he only did it because he could tell I was concerned about what the heck was going on. I told him I would never reveal to her that he told me and that she will have to admit that to me herself, if she plans to. He went so far as to defend her. I also think he preferred I hear it from one of them than some random person.

OK, so here's where I have issues. First of all, I'm not a huge fan of cheating, as I have personal experience in my family and really, it's just not good. I'm not trying to be judgmental, either - but I think we all know that cheating (on a person, on a test, in life) is just wrong.

Let's set that aside. My friend has had AMPLE opportunity to come clean about this with me. And she hasn't. And now, if she ever does tell me, it won't help - since I already know. She led me to believe she had had thoughts about other people...but hadn't acted on it. I sat and listened to and supported her - NOT knowing that she had stepped out on the marriage.

Let me be honest, I don't think I would have let her stay in my home - had I known she had done this. In a weird way, I feel like I somehow supported her behavior (unknowingly).

Now, I'm fully aware that my above statements are probably WHY she hasn't come forward and told me about this. I get it. But, it's so much worse now, because she should have been honest from the get go.

And let's just say I can get past this...WHY would I ever want to meet this person she's in a relationship with or socialize with them in ANY way? Ick. My opinion of that individual is pretty low.

I know people aren't perfect...and yes, I do have high expectations of others - why shouldn't we expect the best from people? I can accept she made a mistake...but misleading me about that mistake, using me (in a way), telling me other reasons the marriage is in trouble, but not the BIG reason...is/was wrong of her.

At this point, she will have to initiate contact with me. I don't plan to make any calls/texts to connect with her.

Have any of you ever been in this position? What advice/thoughts do you have? I just feel betrayed and I'm not sure the friendship can survive this.