Yep, online dating is STILL stupid...

Well, blog readers, I'm going to tell you a secret that NO ONE else knows.  I signed up on Match.com (first time on that site) for a 3 month term, last week.

And do you know how amazing I think it is? 

Um, NOT.  Not amazing at all.  These are the available men out there?  Seriously?  And before you go thinking I think I'm all that and am just too snooty to consider these choice men... 

So far, the men who have liked my pics, winked at me, or sent me a message, have done any of the following below:

• Misspelled words in their profiles and their messages.  Things like "obsticle," rather than "obstacle."  And, I'm sorry, I know everyone makes mistakes and isn't an English major.  But, I guess I'd take a second or third pass at my online dating profile before clicking save.  I mean, this is the image you're putting out there for potential mates, right? 
• Mail messages that say things like, "Fun plans tonight?"  OK, um, we've NEVER spoken before, online or otherwise.  So, we are not in that familiar place where you get to ask what my plans are tonight.  How about we communicate back and forth and become more than online pictures, first? 
• Mail messages that say things like, "Hey."  Uh, ok, "Hi?"  I realize this is a nerve wracking thing, online or not.  But how does one reply to "Hey?"  Does that leave it to me to write a lengthy reply to "Hey?"  I don't know...I guess I feel like you could type more than one word, if you took the time to write me anyway.
• Profiles without a picture.  I've spoken at length on this blog about this.  Listen, I applaud you for getting out there and taking the risk of trying online dating.  However, if you aren't confident enough to upload a picture (current) of yourself, then maybe you have some other work to do before tackling dating/relationships.  Furthermore, if you don't have a profile pic, you are delusional for expecting most people to reply/inquire about you.  Because, as I've said before, you can't hide your face/body in real life!  If I ran into you in a bar...I'd see you.  So, the whole "no pic" thing has never made any sense to me. 
• Profiles with multiple pictures, none of which match up.  What I mean is, you see the main profile pic, and you think, "Hmm, he looks alright...let's look at his other pics!"  And then, as you scroll through his 9 pics, you see that he looks completely different in all of them.  So, which one does he look like NOW?  Um, is it a surprise?  Why wouldn't you post somewhat current pics of yourself, regardless of if you've gained weight, whatever?  One guy included a picture from 2001...and it's not like it was a pic of him in an amazing locale.  It was just a picture.  I can post my high school and college pictures, too.  But I won't.  Because, I'm pretty sure you're interested in the current version of me...whether that's thin/heavy/wrinkly/etc. 
• The whole "he liked your photo" thing.  What IS this?  And why does it matter?  I must be pretty cynical, because this does nothing for me.  Every fricking email I get about someone liking my photo annoys me more than makes me feel good.  The people that like my photos are in their late 40s/early 50s...and don't send me any other communication.  Not that I want them to...but what is the point of liking a photo, then?  Just because?  This isn't Facebook.  It's Match. 
• The whole "he made you a favorite" thing.  This is right along the same lines as the "like" thing.  What does it mean?  I'm his "favorite" profile to look at from time to time?  I'm his "favorite" group of pictures to look at from time to time? 
• The whole "wink" thing.  What is this?  Is this the equivalent of a guy winking at you at the bar?  Because I'm usually creeped out by these dudes.  And now they have a forum to just "wink" whenever they feel like it?  But then make no further contact?  Because, I'm sure I'm supposed to "wink" back.
• Dirty profile descriptions.  And apparently, they're real profiles...but these guys think their disgusting hopes for the girl they meet on here are totally appropriate.  Ewwwwwww!

Yep, I know.  I'm jaded.  I'm cynical.  I'm cranky.  But, all of that said, I still think the above are valid points/issues with this site, and online dating, in general.  I continue to be unimpressed.

The funny thing is, I think it's supposed to be a bit of an ego booster.  And, it's not that I have a big ego, but that's not what I'm on the site for.  I'm on the site to potentially find someone to date, have a relationship with, and maybe marry. 

Every time I get an email message from Match, telling me that someone either winked at, messaged me, favorited me, or liked a photo - I'm annoyed.  There's no part of me that lights up and thinks, "Oh my gosh...they think I'm pretty?," "They like my picture?," "I'm their favorite?"  In fact, I'm so annoyed after ONE week, that I honestly can't imagine THREE MONTHS of this!  OMG.

Because, again, this isn't really how it would be in the real world.  I wouldn't be getting flooded with notifications in the non-online world.  Which is what I prefer. 

When some friends of mine were going through marital troubles (still are, I think) and were nearing divorce...he joined Match (dumb, I know).  And he had the nerve to tell me and a single male friend what we were missing.  And he had the gall to explain that we should really check it out.  This guy...who was still (and still is) technically married...and had been on Match for maybe 2 weeks.  Maybe.  He was telling us how that all worked.  You know...us.  We've been single for decades.  Uh huh.  That really irritated me (and still does, a little). 

Anyway, it occurred to me why he thought it was so great.  I think this guy probably has some self esteem issues.  Because, I'm guessing he loved being highlighted on the site and getting flooded with likes, messages, etc.  It probably made him feel good...like he was attractive and quite the catch.  No wonder he raved about it.  He thought he was pretty hot stuff. 

And, while I've struggled with having good self esteem over the years, I'm pretty confident in who I am.  I don't need a bunch of random strangers telling me I'm pretty or that my profile is interesting, to make me feel good about myself.  And frankly, that's how it should be.  I shouldn't be depending on this site or any guy in the real world to make me feel pretty or good about myself. 

So, I'll stay on the site...they already have my $62, but the chances that my attitude will change are pretty slim.  And yes, I know that means I am going into it with a bad attitude.  But really, the reason I broke down and signed up was that I had a very teeny tiny itty bitty microscopic amount of hope that maybe, just maybe there would be some interesting matches.  So far, it's been duds.  All the way.