Eating as a single...

I'm curious, fellow single bloggers...what do you eat?

Do you actually cook meals? Do you eat fast food? Do you heat up microwaveable meals? Do you order pizza?

One of my biggest pet peeves about being single is meals. I'm not a cook (but I do love to bake), so I never really know what to make that doesn't make me feel like I'm 12 years old. For a long while, I'd make those Weight Watchers meals for lunch or dinner, then have some fruit or something. But those got old...and I'm not sure I could eat another one anytime soon.

Breakfast and lunch aren't that hard for me, but dinner is tricky. There are so many recipes I see on Pinterest that I'd like to try. All of them serve 6-8 people! Ugh! And yes, I'm aware I can divide out the recipe, but that is so annoying. Are there any recipes/books devoted to the single person?

Also, you buy the ingredients for this recipe that serves 6 people...you make 1/6 of it for yourself...and now you have all these ingredients and you don't know when/if you'll ever make it again! So now it's an expense/waste.

Sometimes it's just easier to order a pizza and chow down. Thank goodness I'm a runner!

Anyway, just wondering if this bothers any of you and if you have good suggestions?

Am I at that age YET?

Recently, a friend called me to discuss a potential set-up. The guy was a good friend of hers and she wanted to scope out the potential. He's in his 40s (I have no issue with that - I'm trying to expand horizons), divorced, sounds nice, amicable divorce, etc.

Then she hits me with this. He's got FOUR kids. FOUR. All young.

As I spit out my drink...I regrouped.

Now, I have no problem with this guy having had kids already. I get it. He was married, they started a family...then the marriage failed. So, I'm not saying he's damaged goods. I've already accepted that the guy I (hopefully) meet and marry will likely have already been married once. That's just the odds.

But, do I have to accept that I'm going to be a stepmother? I'm still in my low 30s (ish) and I guess I thought I still had the option to meet/marry someone who hasn't yet had kids?

My friend (who is awesome) and I ended up having a very lengthy discussion about it. She could see where I was coming from, but I think she wanted me to entertain the idea.

I've said this before on this blog, but I'll state it again. I've had stepmothers...and they were both bad (for various reasons). While I know I'd make every effort to be a good stepmother, I don't have the desire to be one. When kids are involved, there is a forever link to the former spouse...and potential drama.

I'm aware my marriage/family will have a drama all it's own, but I'm just not up for additional issues. This is also, by the way, assuming a guy in his 40s with 4 kids wants to have MORE kids. I wouldn't blame him if he didn't (I wouldn't).

My family was broken when I was very young, and is still fairly broken to this day. My dream has always been to have my own family. I'm not claiming my family will be perfect, but it will be a big step up from what I grew up with. And, for me, that starts with having our own family unit (no step-parents/step-kids).

I'm aware this might sound jerky, but that's not my intention. I just think 4 kids is a LOT to walk into. And I'd rather be up front than go out with the guy and lead him on.

So, I choose to believe that I still have a few years before I have to throw in the towel and give up on motherhood (even though it's creeping closer to not happening every day). I choose to believe that there are plenty of single men out there (around my age) who also haven't yet had kids.

Am I crazy to believe that it could still happen?

I'm such a "big girl!"

Well, here is what transpired with RC.

The more I thought about it, I knew I couldn't return his call and then say, "I wanted to call you back, to let you know I don't want to go out with you." Ugh. So, I figured there wouldn't be any harm in meeting for a casual dinner and see if that changed anything for me.

I returned his call the next night and we made plans to meet for dinner Thursday night. We met at a very casual place, and I figured meeting there would ensure it wasn't TOO date-like. Our conversation was fine, but again, there was just nothing there. It was like talking to an acquaintance or a casual friend. Still, I gave it my best shot.

Anyway, as the evening wound down, I thanked him for dinner. He then said he'd give me another call so we could do it again.

Watch out. This is where I become an adult...hope you can handle it.

I decided to just be up front with him right then and there, in the moment. So, I told him that while I thought he was nice, I just didn't think there was a connection there. And I told him that I didn't want to be dishonest or lead him to think something further was going to happen. He handled it very well, saying he appreciated it and he totally understood.

DONE.

We walked out together and said good night. No real harm done.

It felt SO good to leave the date knowing I wouldn't have to stress about him calling/texting to set another date up. Or to stress about returning the call or the friend who set it up being upset with me.

I've been criticized on this blog before for texting/avoiding discussion about not wanting to go on further dates, so it felt good to do the "right" thing.

So, while the date isn't going to go anywhere, I think it was a good jumping off point for 2012. I've started the year handling that situation in a positive and mature way, which is good!

Yay me!

First set-up of 2012

OK, I need some advice from my blogger friends who are experienced daters!

So, the other day, a married couple I'm friends with told me they had someone in mind for me. They gave a quick description and I indicated we could do a group/casual thing, just to meet. We all met at the local bowling alley, my friends, their 2 boys, me, and the guy. We'll call him RC.

RC and I arrived first and we chatted while we waited for our friends. He's a perfectly nice guy, but do you know what I mean when I say there was nothing there? It's not like he was a jerk or hideously unattractive, and yet, I just didn't feel a thing. And, the litmus test - could I picture myself kissing him? NO.

So, our friends arrived and we bowled a few games. We all had a good time bowling and it was very casual/laid back, as I had hoped. I had to sneak out early, to make it to another gathering.

My friend texted me that night, asking what I thought. I replied that RC "seemed like a nice guy," and didn't say anything more.

Fast forward to Monday, when my friend (who works with RC) texts me that it's RC's birthday on Tuesday. Why do I need to know this? I don't have this guy's number, email...anything. I texted back, "Um, ok?" Anyway, my friend wanted me to know that, just in case RC and I spoke on Tuesday. Then he said, "since he did ask for your number this morning."

So I replied that I thought he was nice, but wasn't sure it was a match. Watch out, here's where I messed up - then I said "I guess I could try a one on one." Now, in my defense, I had hoped my friend would ASK me if it's ok to pass along my number.

Cut to last night, when RC phoned me. The first call, he didn't leave a voicemail. The second call, he left a voicemail - wanting to get together for dinner sometime this week.

First question: Should my friend have asked me whether or not he could give this guy my number? Just curious.

Second question: I don't really want to go any further with this guy, but now I feel like I have to do a dinner/date. What are my options? I'm planning to call him back tonight...so don't worry, I'm not going to ignore/not respond. Do I go to dinner with him and then let him know there's no connection? Ugh, how do I get myself in these situations?

Taking advice...GO!

2011 Roundup

Hello readers (if you're still there?)! I hope you had a wonderful Christmas and New Year and that 2012 is off to a great start.

Well, Christmas was a struggle for me this year, even though I really tried to make it a good day. It still was what it was and I was fairly weepy. New Year's, however, was a good time - I went to a great party where we all dressed up. It was a fun group of people and a good way to ring in 2012.

2011 was, overall, a bit of a suckfest. My dad passed away in January, my car was keyed, an uninsured driver rear ended me, had some setups that didn't work out, tried out for something I really wanted and it didn't work out, had foot surgery... I could go on.

Now, I realize there are people who had FAR worse 2011s than I did. I'm aware. It was just a tough year overall and I'm glad to put it behind me.

My goal for 2012 is to try and be positive. I want to have a better year, and I can control some of that. I can't control everything, but I can do my best to have a good outlook.

There are several things I'd like to do:

- Refinance my house (thus saving me some money)
- Pay off some debt (nothing too crazy, but I'll be glad to have it done)
- Keep my eyes open for a new job/opportunity (and pursue it if I find it)
- SAVE money. I've been far too lazy in this area, mostly because it only affects me (right now)
if I don't have any savings.
- Have some fun, go on a girls' weekend and do a little shopping (which will directly negate the
"save money" goal)
- And yes, I should probably make some changes in the dating department. I don't yet know
what those will be, but what I've been doing isn't working.

So, I think this is a good start. Change is difficult, but I'm determined that 2012 is going to be a better year!

What are YOU doing in 2012?