So, I'm home with family, celebrating our Christmas. And a few of us were at my niece's bball tourney. I'm sitting next to my brother and yawning, often. Literally, I could NOT stop yawning. So finally, I say, "Oh wow, I am SO tired. Can't believe how tired I am." My brother, who has two kids, sort of laughs at that. He then says, "People with kids hate it when people without kids say they're tired...cuz you don't even know."
People have made comments like this to me before...and it ticks me off every time. It was all I could do to not explode on my brother. Let me break down the things wrong with a statement like this.
#1) My brother KNOWS I'd like to be married and have children of my own. So, how about we don't make an insensitive remark about something I don't have, mmmkay?
#2) I'm fully aware that kids are exhausting. I'm aware that parents, of young children, in particular, don't get much sleep. I don't need this pointed out to me, just because I don't have kids of my own.
#3) Hmm, is it NOT possible that I could be tired, too? I mean, is that not within the realm of possibility? I don't understand. Am I not capable of being AS tired as he might be?
#4) I work full time, plus a part-time job, plus another side gig, plus maintain a home, car, social life, family, exercise, etc. - BY MYSELF, with ZERO help. I guess I think I'm entitled to be a little tired?
I'm not claiming that I'm more tired than someone with kids, but I also know that some of my friends who are parents say I'm much busier than they are. And from watching my other brother spend most of the time we were home LAYING on the floor, nearly sleeping, I feel like he seems to get more rest than I do.
Have any of you experienced a comment like this? Do you share my frustration with it?
7 months ago
Gawd yes! ALL.THE.TIME. Over Christmas, my cousins decided to play, "WHY IS YVONNE STILL SINGLE AND CHILDLESS?" -because they are lame and have nothing else going on in their lives obviously. So they proceed to probe into this grand mystery. Asking me stupid questions such as "Why aren't you dating anyone?" "Why are you so picky?" and one of my faves, "Are you lesbian? It's okay if you are, you can still have children and get married." ----For the record, I'm not a lesbian, but even if I was, good gawd! My family is nuts! My brothers and a few other relatives have made insensitive remarks to me like the one your brother made to you. A "friend" once told me I must be rotted down there because I have yet to get pregnant. ---Seriously, insensitivity runs rampant with my family.
ReplyDeleteWow - people will say ANYthing, won't they? So sorry you had to endure such insensitive comments. People need to realize that you don't need to SAY every single thing you might be thinking!
DeleteI can completely relate to receiving insensitive remarks. I'm sorry you had to hear that. The people I get them from the most are the most insecure. And even when I date, these same people don't want to hear about it. They inevitably will compare "perfect" husbands and children. Singles have it hard and deserve a lot of credit for the wise cracks from people. It just makes me stronger and more humble.
ReplyDeleteThanks for your support, Rosemarie! Appreciate it! I guess I just come at it from a place of - can't EVERYone be tired for one reason or another? Does it really come down to people with kids having a claim on "most tired?"
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