Another horrible blind date...

OK, so I mentioned recently that I'm going to delve back into the dating world. I didn't really have a plan, but figured I'd just be open to whatever.

A few weeks ago at church, I ran into this older guy who is always very nice to me. He means well, but is a bit off kilter. Anyway, out of nowhere, he asks if I'd be interested in a set-up. (I had not said a word about dating.) So, it was one of those moments where I was very caught off guard and didn't really feel like I could say no.

I agreed to the set-up, not knowing WHO he was setting me up with or ANYTHING about this individual. Also, Fred & his wife were going to join us. The date was set for tonight, at Red Lobster - of all places. (It should be noted that I do not like seafood and have been to Red Lobster one other time in my life.)

I walk in and this guy comes up next to me, like he knows me. Oh, it's him...it's my date. Um, let's just say, NO...heck no.

I know, I'm about to sound super snotty and judgmental, but here goes...

He was overweight and just a little hillbilly-ish for my taste. I'm guessing he's in his 40s (I'm 33). Fred arrives, without his wife, so I know the awkwardness is just beginning.

We are finally seated and conversation is a struggle. It turns out me and my date have almost zero in common. He likes to hunt, ride motorcycles, and pours cement for a living. He doesn't watch tv, so we couldn't even discuss a funny show. He also mentioned going to "movie shows." I wasn't sure what a movie show was...then realized he was talking about movies. Um...ok?

I'm dying for the date to end...when the waiter offers to get our checks. He asks how we want them. Fred says he's on his own. I'm waiting to see what my date says...and he says NOTHING. So I said, "Um, we're separate too." I got to pick up my own tab for this awful experience - BONUS!

At this point, I assume the date is nearly over...since the bills are paid. Fred then continues the discussion... UGH! Then he says he's going to leave us and let us chat for a bit. Are you KIDDING me? What body language from this evening has led you to think this guy and I will have any conversation?

So Fred leaves...and we are sitting there. To make matters worse, our waiter drops by to say he doesn't care how long we stay...he's fine with not getting another table. Thanks a lot, buddy...you're a big help.

My date couldn't have been more awkward and non-conversational. So finally I said, "ya know, we can just go..." I told him I'm sure I'll see him at church sometime and said it was nice to meet him.

Seriously...I open myself up to this again and THIS is my first experience? Really? REALLY???

The BIG Haircut!

Well, I did it. I finally did it!

This past Saturday, one of my best friends accompanied me to the salon...and the hair was CUT! We cut off 2 pony tails (12" each) and then cut about 4 more inches off the rest. So, 16" lighter feels fantastic!

When my stylist went to cut the first pony, she asked if I was ready. Honestly, I didn't even flinch. I told her to go for it! Then she said she was going to cut more and I was still fine with it. I think THAT signifies how ready for a change I was. The more she cut, the more excited I was!

The final cut turned out great and I'm loving it! First of all, I can't believe how much time my long hair took. I think the short hair takes less time to style and I feel like I no longer need to "plan ahead" for hair style time.

Bottom line...I wish I'd done it a long time ago! I'm sure I'll have it long again, but for now, I'm going to enjoy my new SASS!

The ponytails I donated to Locks of Love...

Haircut update and other ramblings...

OK, so, I've decided to get the haircut! In 2 weeks, I will no longer wear a ponytail. I will no longer feel it swinging back and forth when I run. I will no longer spend an hour straightening it. I will no longer be hot ALL the time, because of the 6 pounds of hair on my head. I will no longer feel like I have a pet, due to all the hair I shed throughout my house.

All in all, I'm pretty much ready for it. Of course, that could change if I end up hating it... But, each day I feel like it's the right decision, even if it's a major one. While I'm curious how men will respond/react to me with shorter hair, I can't keep it long "just in case." Hopefully, the right guy will like me, regardless of my hair length.

On to other news...I've been thinking lately that I need to get back into the dating game. I just realized that it's been a while since I've been on a date. At first, it was intentional. I'd been on another horrible set-up and swore them off afterward. I decided that I would no longer "put myself out there," because I'd done it too many times with crap results.

So, I haven't been on any set-ups, blind dates, online dating - NOTHIN'!

So how does one get back in the swing?

Well, I joined a free online dating service (I know, they're not great - but I'm too cheap to pay). Oh. Wow. I don't claim to be perfect, but some of the guys I've come across...

First of all, my profile clearly states my religious affiliation. And, no, I don't require that my mate share the same denomination. However, they DO need to share my belief in God. I make that pretty clear in my "bio." I point out that God and church are an important part of my life.

I have friends, and even family, who are non-believers. While I don't agree with their beliefs, it doesn't affect our relationship. But, I think in a couple, it's important to be on the same page in that area.

I'm saying all of this because at least half of the "messages" I've gotten, are from men who clearly state they are "non-religious."

If I'm reading a guy's profile, and I find him attractive/interesting, then see that he's non-religious - well, I'm probably not going to message him.

So, it sort of gets me that these guys still message me anyway. Yes, I know, I sound like a snot - I'm aware. Really, I say believe what you want. But, for me, it's important that my mate has a relationship with God.

Some of the other guys who've messaged me are just plain creepy or super old. Why does a 48 year old man message a 33 year old woman?

Also, it would help if EVERYone who dates online would use a CURRENT and ACCURATE picture of themselves. I love when a guy has 6 pictures on his profile and I come across one that's attractive. Then, the next picture is him 50 pounds heavier and looking older. Which one is he? Right now, my profile pic is with long hair, but I'm sure I'll change it to the short hair after my haircut.

So, my first foray back into the game is a fail. And, everyone I know is married...so I'm not quite sure if any set-ups are in my future.

Any suggestions from my fellow bloggers would be welcome!

To cut or not to cut...

I feel I'm at a crossroads with my hair. I am thisclose to making a major change.

Since this blog is pretty anonymous, I won't go into great detail. But, in short, I have long, naturally curly, very thick hair.

For as long as I can remember, I've hated my hair while others say, "I'd kill for your hair," "your hair is SO pretty," "I wish I had hair like yours." While compliments are nice, they're hard to accept when you want to chop it all off!

People have even said it would be a shame to cut something that is such an asset. Well, I guess I don't really want to keep my hair long, just to please everyone who likes it. :-)

The problem is, my hair is so thick/curly, that I can't just cut it to chin length - without creating a beautiful triangle.

I'm at the point where I'm going to either leave it as is (yawn, boring!) or chop it off (super drastic).

My stylist has told me I can do short (based on my face and head size?) and several friends agree. The bonus would be that I could donate my hair to Locks of Love, which is a great charity. And, hair grows back (in my case, incredibly fast)!

A few of the cons I've been told:

1) Men don't like women with short hair
2) I'll look older

I'm not worried about con #2, since I look slightly younger than my age right now.

But, what about con #1? Is this true? I wouldn't say I've snagged a man with my long hair, so I'd hate to not cut it, just in case. I would hope that I don't have to leave my hair long, so guys will be attracted to me. But, I also don't want to make the dating world more difficult than it already is.

I'd like input from my readers. Thoughts? I've put a picture below of the style I'm thinking of doing.

Feel free to be honest, I'm looking for advice!

Still here...and a few random thoughts

Life has been pretty busy lately and I sort of let this blog go by the wayside. To anyone who reads it...SORRY!

The good news is that I prefer being busy to being bored or not having consistent plans/things to do. In addition to social (no, not dating - boo!) busy-ness, my work has been unbelievably busy and stressful. Again, in a time of recession and unemployment, I really can't complain.

So, I was irritated with someone the other day and was dying to vent to a friend or anyone who would listen. Since most of my friends are married with children, it's not always easy to catch them at a moment's notice. This is completely understandable.

But, I thought to myself...how many of the couples of the world take for granted that they have an automatic, built-in sounding board for the issues of their day? I mean, I was pretty ticked and sort of needed to talk to someone about it ASAP. Instead, I had to wait until a good friend of mine (who I talk to daily) was available to chat.

It would be so lovely to be able to talk to my spouse, not only about my day, but about life decisions. Sometimes, being single forces you to make decisions about stuff you wouldn't otherwise care about.

For example, I don't care about loan papers and other boring paperwork (yes, I know I should). But, this is exactly the type of thing where I would say, "Honey, I don't care...please go ahead and take care of it." Or, spiders. I absolutely HATE spiders...whether my hubby liked them or not, he'd be the designated spider/bug/creepy crawly thing killer! Or fixing things around the house. I wouldn't say I'm particularly handy, but I've had to LEARN to be, as a result of my single status. I would gladly hand that role over!

I suppose what I wrote above looks like I'm asking for an assistant rather than a mate, but hopefully you get my point. A partner in life is exactly that - they partner WITH you through all things (good and bad). And I would really like one of those in my life! :-)

A younger male friend of mine recently told me (with good intention) that he could see how guys could be intimidated by me. He feels my confidence and independence might intimidate them. Here's the thing, I've HAD to be independent BECAUSE I'm single. Maybe if I'd met someone early on, I wouldn't be the independent rock star (ha ha) I am now.

And being confident? I guess I don't know what to do about that one. I always try to put my best foot forward and typically, I'm pretty nervous in dating situations. So, I'm not sure how I'm faking the confidence card.

Regardless, I'll continue my independence in the absence of a fella and try to live life to the fullest.

Exhibit A: I'm hosting an 80s movie marathon day with several friends this weekend. Can't beat THAT!

Jack The Stripper

OK, this is probably one of my favorite blind date stories. One of my close friends decided to set me up with a single co-worker of hers, whom she didn't know all that well. So, we decided to do a double date with her and her husband.

Now, I’ll preface this story with the fact that I wasn’t in a super fantastic place in my life. I was in between jobs, or as I like to say, on sabbatical. So I was in a constant state of stress, financially and emotionally. I wasn’t even sure I could sit on a date knowing that the topic of jobs would come up, and I’d have to say I was currently doing nothing.

We had dinner at a local restaurant and it went fairly well. I wouldn’t say there were sparks, but as a group, we seemed to be having a good time.

We went to a local bar afterward for drinks. All of us were chatting it up, having a decent time. Then Jack proceeds to tell a wonderful story, which is how he received the namesake of this blog entry.

He was talking about being best man for his brother’s wedding. He planned the bachelor party at a local strip club. Jack said he hadn’t been to one before, so he was sort of telling it like he was embarrassed. I was already concerned that this guy was telling a strip club story on a FIRST BLIND DATE. Hello!!!

Jack said when he walked into the club a stripper grabbed him and gave him a free t-shirt. She took him to a private room in the back, where she proceeded to climb on top of him and shake her boobs in his face. He said they were really sweaty and you could tell she’d been dancing a lot that night.

The whole time he’s telling this story, I’m dying inside and I can tell my friends are too. We were ALL trying our best to change the subject or do anything to get him off the stripper story. But, none of it worked.

We all said good night and as we walked to our cars, my friend's husband said to her, “Well, he just shot himself in the foot…”

It doesn’t even matter that I’m not a “stripper” kind of gal. Had Jack and I ever actually dated, I would NEVER want to know that story. That’s a story a man can keep to himself and think about whenever he wants, but it should never be repeated.

Things married people/parents say...

I think this will just be a running title...as I'm sure I'll have more rants in the future.

So, I'm leaving work today and I get on the elevator with a male co-worker. I let out a sigh and said, "Man, I'm tired." He then makes a "PFFT" sound, sort of insinuating, "Like you even know..." I said, "Oh, I can't be tired?" He says, "You don't even know, you have no idea. I mean, kids, they'll make you sooooo tired."

Seriously? Seriously?

So I sort of let him have it. I informed him that, oh yes, I too, can be tired. Of course I joked with him, but he did unintentionally strike a nerve.

I may not have kids, but I have other life responsibilities. Such as...working out, community activities, church involvement, cleaning the house, paying the bills, etc. Oh yah, I do the housework, groceries, bill paying, etc. by MYSELF. There isn't a second person swooping in for the assist on any of those tasks.

For example, today I didn't get home until 9:30pm, due to other activities (my choice, of course).

Again, everyone is entitled to complain, married or single. But, I very much dislike when married people/parents assume that since I don't have children, I have no idea what it's like to be busy or tired. In fact, many of my married friends have told me they think I'm busier than they are. Hmmm...

And if kids make you so darn tired and all you're going to do is complain to someone who would like to have them...WHY did you have kids??? (I reserve the right to retract this statement if/when I ever have kids and want to complain.) :-)