Monday, November 29, 2010

Out of control...

So, did any of YOU overeat over the last few days? I'm not only referring to Thanksgiving, but the long weekend that followed.

All I can say, is that I have got to get things under some sort of control.

I hadn't been on the scale for a while, but finally risked it yesterday. Phew! No major damage was done. (This might be due to the 20+ mile run I did on Saturday.)

But, I have a few pounds that have taken up residence in my backside and, apparently, don't want to go anywhere. And I can prove this. My pants are all tight in ONE area and ONE area only - the BUTT! Literally, everything else on my body is the same.

We're not talking a full pants size bigger, but the super fun "in between two sizes" situation. This is even more irritating!

Ya see, my issue is not lack of committment to exercise. I am usually training for marathons, so I spend at least 6-7 hours a week working out/running. For the most part, I enjoy exercise. I feel better while and after I do it. I know it keeps me healthy, too.

My issue IS food, specifically - sweets! I love anything with sugar, chocolate, gooey goodness - you name it! And I'm not the girl that can have one little bite and be fine. No, I have to have seconds, thirds, etc. And, I really can't go a day without having sweets (yes, meaning more than one sweet).

Honestly, I bet if I quit eating sweets, I'd lose 10-15 pounds in a matter of weeks. So sad...

Now, I do have some perspective. I'm not overweight right now and I look totally fine (or whatever). But, it's not like I can get away with this forever...my butt is already ticked!

So, I have no grand plan, other than to put it out there to you all...that I need to at least try to be better!

Friday, November 26, 2010

Step-parent?

This post is more of a question to my readers...

Recently, I was made aware that someone in a local club I belong to, is interested in dating me. He's over 10 years older than me and has a daughter. I don't know him well, we've only had a few casual conversations. But, I'm also not sure that I've ever looked at him like that.

I will be frank with you, the questions/concerns that pop into my mind when I think of him are:

  • Ooh, he's in his forties.
  • Ooh, he's got a kid (and would he want more kids?)
  • Ooh, he's shorter than me.

I know, I know. I can hear all of you yelling at me, through the computer. But hey, at least I'm admitting it, right?

Here's the thing. I think we all go through stages of what we're looking for. When I was in my 20s, I wanted someone who'd never been married. Fast forward to 33, and that's not so important anymore. I just assume they've already been married and divorced. So, I could probably get over the age thing.

I've also always wanted to have my "own" family with whomever I marry. This means that I am not really looking to be a stepmother. It does not mean that I judge someone who already has children. It just means, that it does complicate things.

My dad has been married multiple times, so I've had a few stepmothers (he's still with the latest one). The thing is, being a step-parent is a bit of a no-win situation. You will never be the child's mother...and you may always be seen as a threat. The potential up side is that you could have a great relationship with each other.

I guess, coming from a broken home, I've always just wanted to have "my" family. Is that bad? Does that sound absolutely horrible?

The other issue is whether or not this guy in his forties would really want to start having more kids? I would totally understand NOT wanting more, if I already have one headed toward middle school. Again, I'm not even dating him, so I realize these are crazy thoughts.

And my last thought, about him being shorter. Well, that's just standard. When you're 5'11", you can't help but notice that. Again, I've relaxed a bit on that one...provided I'm actually attracted the guy in other ways. (While I do think he's a nice guy, I don't think I find him attractive, but again...haven't thought of him in that way.)

So...to wrap all of this up. I'm being asked if I'd consider going out with this guy. But, I've got all these stepmother concerns and what not, so I'm wondering what you, my readers think. Feel free to judge me!

I know it doesn't hurt to just go out with him...but I don't want to create an awkward situation either.

Thanksgiving...

Happy Thanksgiving (a day late) to all of my readers! I hope you all stuffed your faces and shopped 'til you dropped today.

I hosted Thanksgiving dinner for my family this year. I started the tradition a few years ago, and I think we've had some pretty good Thanksgivings (if I do say so myself). This means I do all the cooking. Yep, you read that right...I do ALL of the cooking! I had never even attempted to cook a turkey until a few years ago.

I am definitely more of a baker than a cook, but it's really fun to try and put the meal together and figure out the timing. Everything tasted pretty good and I was sufficiently stuffed!

My brother's kids are such a joy and it's always fun to spend time with them. We went online and looked at potential Christmas gifts I could get them. They are adorable!!!

I ventured out today, to try and score some Black Friday deals. I was able to get almost everything on my wish list. It was so nice to come home, check out my goodies, and then take a nap. I've spent the day just hanging around the house (eating leftovers), with no real schedule/plan. It has been, in a word, AWESOME!

It's days like today, where I really can appreciate being single. While I would love to have my own hubby and kids, I'm aware that a quiet day like today wouldn't have been possible if I had that.

I'm thankful for so many things, but just to name a few:

Health - I love to run and I honestly feel so fortunate that God has blessed me with a healthy body that CAN run. I know the gift that that is!

Nieces & Nephews - They bring a joy to my life that I can't quite express. I love my special relationship with each of them and am SO lucky to have them.

Job - In this economy, I'm lucky to have decent stability at my job (where layoffs are a regular occurrence). So, whenever I want to complain about my work, I stop myself, knowing how lucky I am.

Home - I have a roof over my head! As the weather gets colder, I appreciate this fact more and more.

Friends - I have so many wonderful friends, from all stages of my life! I feel so blessed to know each and every one of them and to know they have my back. We may not always agree, but we do always love and support one another.

Hope you all have a great long weekend!

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Judgment...advice...all around bad support?

So...as per the usual, I've dissected the "Ben" situation with a few close friends (other than you, my blog readers). I always find it interesting how each of my friends react.

I don't profess to be the best advice giver, but I do believe in thinking before you speak. I also believe in putting yourself in the other person's shoes (as best you can), before giving your opinion.

Let me start by saying that I'm blessed to have a crap ton of fantastic friends. They are from various stages of my life and all of them are awesome! But, I get a bit frustrated when some of them say the things they say...

Most of my friends have never really been single. Typical story - they dated someone all through high school, then dated someone new in college, then married said someone.

I have a close friend who didn't marry until 30, so she totally gets where I'm coming from...although she met her hubby on a blind date. Here I am...on blind date #782, still not meeting my hubby. But, I digress...

Out of the friends who have never been single, I have some that give great advice and are very supportive...and others who say things that drive me batty.

A sample conversation:

Me: "Ugh, I just don't know if I'm attracted to him...not looking forward to the date."
Friend: "Hey, you can't bitch about it."
My thoughts: Um, yes, I can bitch about it. Do you know why? Because, I don't have to be excited when someone likes me and I don't necessarily like them back. Also, you're my friend...so I am allowed to bitch to you. That's how this works...
Friend: "Would you rather be home alone on a Saturday night?"
Me: "Yes, I would. I would rather be home alone (eek, the thought!) on a Saturday night, than out on a date with someone I'm not attracted to/interested in." (crazy, I know)
My thoughts: Is this friend honestly suggesting that it's better for me to go out with someone on a Saturday night, because being alone for a few hours is just too sad? Really? Um, I've been single for a while...and I am fine with being on my own. And my life is so busy right now, that a few Saturday nights IN, would be divine.

One of my friends expressed concern about me, over this "Ben" situation. I explained that there is no reason to worry...just because I wasn't interested in this guy. And then, she asked what was next. As if to say, "Well, you blew it with this guy, what's your next plan?"

Um, this will surprise my readers, I'm sure, but I'm not psychic. I have no clue "what's next." I have no idea if my future hubby is even living in the same state as me. So, I'm just doing the best I can, taking each date as it comes (and trying my darndest to be open minded).

Now, compare that to my conversation with my friend who married at 30. She informed me that I was doing the brave thing by not continuing to date someone I had no interest in. What a fantastic thing to say! Brave!!! I like that! And, I happen to agree. How easy would it be to just date someone, knowing they like you and that you can stand being around them (but nothing more)? If I were looking for that, then I suppose I could have been married years ago. But what kind of marriage would that be? And how is that fair to either person?

Here's to all of us single ladies who are looking for the RIGHT guy and not just someone we can "stand" being around! May we all continue to do the brave thing!

Sunday, November 14, 2010

Date #2 with "Ben"...

OK, so last night I went out on date #2 with "Ben." Here are my thoughts.

First of all, I met him prior to the race and conversation was scarce (a little awkward). Then, whenever I ran into people I knew, I wasn't sure how to introduce this guy (that I've been on one date with). Ugh... So, we ran the race and finished maybe 10 seconds apart. Then we stayed for the pancake breakfast and sat with my married friends and her parents. Awesome!

I gotta say, usually a guy I've been on ONE date with, doesn't meet my friends prior to the second date. Right?

So, we part ways and then he picks me up last night. We eat some dinner and then head to the movie. While conversation was ok, I couldn't help but NOT feel a connection with him. Believe me, I tried my best, I swear! And I can honestly say it's not JUST the height/small thing. We have some things in common, but for whatever reason, I just don't feel a click/spark/connection/attraction...whatever you want to call it.

Here's the thing, I can tell that HE does feel said connection with me. Ugh! So, as he was dropping me off, he asked if I wanted to plan on a date the following Saturday. Um, give me a minute, please.

So I told him we could touch base this week. Well, lo and behold, he emails me at 9:47 this morning. Buddy, I get that you're interested...really, I do.

Normally, I just blow the guy off/don't respond (if it's only been a couple dates). I do that when the dates were so horrible, I was traumatized. For this guy though, he is a good guy, so I think he deserves my reply.

It's icky and no fun, but I'm going to reply to him and be honest, that there simply wasn't a connection. I feel absolutely horrible about it, but I'd feel worse going out with him again and leading him on.

Has this ever happened to any of you?

Friday, November 12, 2010

'Tis the season of blind dating...

OK, so if you read this post, you know that I have put myself back on the market (mostly for blind dates/set-ups).

Here's the funny thing... For some reason, Fall is MY time for dating. Nearly every year, it never fails...all of these random set-ups/dates/potentials come my way, from out of nowhere! So, it started with the horrible Red Lobster date, and now there could be more...

A friend of mine randomly suggested this guy she works with, we'll call him "Ben." So, he & I exchanged a few emails and that went well. We agreed to meet for drinks last week. I met him downtown and we both had a beer. Shockingly, the conversation was pretty good and we got along well. Before we knew it, it was dinner time. So, we stayed and ordered some food and the conversation continued.

Five hours later...we said good night. So, it's safe to say that this date was NOT the train wreck that most of my dates usually are. We have some things in common and conversation flowed easily. We both agreed that we'd go out again sometime this weekend.

Here's the thing - I don't think I'm all that attracted to him. Ugh! The date went well enough that I would definitely go out again, just to see if anything was there, but I'm a little stressed. He's on the small side. He is more than a few inches shorter than me and just kind of skinny. I'm not a big girl, but I am 5'11", so height is an issue for me. I know some of you may judge that and say that I'm cutting out an entire population of good guys, but I can't help how I feel.

I am honestly just more comfortable with taller/bigger guys. It doesn't mean that I will write "Ben" off, but things aren't looking good. We are going out tomorrow night, dinner and a movie.

Oh yeah, we both happen to be signed up for the same road race tomorrow morning. He asked me what I was doing before the race. I said, "Um, sleeping?" So, he then asked if I'd want to meet up with him before the race.

The thing is...we're not dating (for realz) just yet. We've had ONE date. So, I guess I feel like it's a little much to meet up and apparently run with him the morning of our second date! I mean, come on! (I'm aware that I complain about being single and then when someone shows interest, I'm pushing back. But hopefully you get my meaning.) I'm saying that now we'll go out tomorrow night and not have that much to talk about, given our 5 hour first date, and the race in the morning. This is to say nothing of the fact that now I'll have to actually look in the mirror tomorrow before leaving the house for the race.

Anyway, I'm sure I'm making more of any of this than is necessary, but I'm just not good at dating. I don't think it's fun. I think it's a bit of a chore, actually. If I could meet someone and then just say, "Yes, you are the right one. Let's go get married." THAT is how I'd like to do it!

So, I'm sure tomorrow night's date will go fine, but the issue of physical attraction is still open. I can totally see myself being friends with this guy, just not sure if I can picture kissing him? Have any of you had this issue? Do you feel where I'm coming from? Am I crazy?

Another friend of mine's hubby, Facebooked me out of the blue a few days ago. He wondered if I was seeing anyone, because he has someone in mind. So, supposedly that guy is going to email me at some point?

Too funny...Fall is my season, I tell you!

Long time no type...

Hello everyone in blog world! It has been far too long since I've posted and my crazy schedule is the culprit. I've WANTED to blog, but just haven't been able to. So, here goes...

The last few months have been filled with road races, a bridal shower, a wedding, church meetings, etc. Basically, I haven't had 8 hours sleep since... Hmmm...I can't remember when. *sad face*

I finished my 8th marathon (Marine Corps Marathon) two weeks ago and it was fun. It was the biggest marathon I've ever done and I really enjoyed the whole experience. I didn't hit my time goal (grrrrr), but it was cool knowing that my brother was out there running it as well. We ran in honor of my dad, a Vietnam Vet.

My lower back flared up early on in the race, so I ran the bulk of it in quite a bit of pain. But, when you are running up a hill past a triple amputee with a hand bike. Well, you sort of suck it up and get the job done. I wasn't going to tell that guy that I was tired or in pain! God bless him!

If you've never run a marathon, there is something about the challenge that is so gratifying. I may not be happy with my time, but I still pushed through and finished. And I did it on my own. In some ways, my independence is such a positive thing. And many times, during long races, I realize that fact. I realize that I am strong, resilient, tough, and will persevere through anything!

Overall the trip was good, but there were many annoying moments (brought to you by my stepmother). Also, it was my dad & stepmom, me, and my brother, his wife, and their new baby (ADORABLE, wanted to kidnap her). Can you say "odd one out?"

OK, OK, it wasn't that bad. But, when we were walking to dinner one night, I was literally walking all by my lonesome while those two couples were hand in hand. Again, happy for them, but do people ever even think about the odd duck in the group? I'm not saying people can't be affectionate, but it was just one of those moments.

I probably sound like a cry baby, but it sort of struck me. And I wonder what coupled people would do if they weren't coupled? How would they handle it?

Other than that, I'm just trying to keep up with everything I'm committed to right now.