Monday, January 26, 2015

Date #2 - there won't be a date #3...

Well, after a lot of hemming and hawing (internally), I did go on date #2.  I'm not going to lie...I had pretty much already decided there was no potential there, but wanted to keep my word. 


I met him there and he gave me an awkward hug.  It was weird.  Now, I'll totally admit that if he was a hot guy I was super interested in...I wouldn't be complaining, I'd be super excited that he initiated a hug.  But...that was not the case.


Once again...there was conversation, but nothing interesting or in common, so it just felt awkward.  Also, he told me what dish he liked at this restaurant and asked what type of Italian I like.  I told him I was probably going to order the chicken parmesan.  To which he replied..."Ooh, that sounds pretty good, I might get that."  He thought about it, for a while, then decided he'd stick with his pasta sampler.  Well, the waitress comes over to take our order and I order the chicken parmesan.  Then he says, "You know what?  I'm getting that...yeah, that sounds good.  I'll get the same thing." 


Now, lest you think I'm the biggest and pickiest jerk on the planet...hear me out.  On date #1, he asked what I liked...I told him...and he ordered the exact same thing.  On date #2, he does the same?  I don't care if people order the same thing as me...but this struck me as odd, like he's not an individual or something.


Our food arrives (it was delish) and it looks like I'm scarfing mine down...while he is taking FOREVER.  Same goes for his salad prior to the meal.  I assure you that I was eating at a very normal pace.  He then says, "I don't know if you've noticed, but I'm a really slow eater.  And I just can't eat very big meals.  I eat like a bird.  But I'm working on it."  Um, what?  Huh?  WHO says any of that?  Especially if you're a guy?  I thought it was weird and I honestly didn't know what to say to that. 


He ended up boxing up half of his meal to take home...while I nearly finished mine.  LOL.  Oh well.


He had asked what I was doing after dinner, and I mentioned some stuff I needed to get done at home.  When I asked him the same...he literally thought about it, for a while, and couldn't come up with anything. 


As we wrapped things up, I thanked him for dinner.  He then said, "If ya want to get together again, let me know."  So, I decided that was my out...and that maybe he was feeling the same thing - that there was no common interests/connection.


Cut to Saturday morning...when he texted me, saying he doesn't date much and he should have invited me out after dinner.  Ugh.  Nice, but ugh.  So, I replied telling him that it was totally fine he didn't invite me (I wouldn't have gone), and that he was a nice guy, but I didn't think we had anything in common.  He replied that he thought the same thing. 


So, that's that. 

On the positive side, it wasn't a nightmare experience and it at least got me back in the game (kind of).  On the negative side, it was another failed blind date experience, which is frustrating. 


And while I appreciate my friend's attempt at a set-up, his FB message to me made it seem like this guy and I had a lot in common and would totally hit it off.  I'm telling you...it would be obvious to anyone that this guy and I would NOT hit it off/have anything in common.  And this friend knows me very well. 


So, I can only assume that he and his girlfriend (mid 20s) were hanging out with the guy at some point and thought, "He's so great...and he's single...do we know someone to set him up with?"  And, of course, I'm the only woman in her late 30s that they know. 

People - just because two very nice, fun people are both single does NOT mean they are a potential match for a date or otherwise.  If this guy and I had gone out again, it would have been painful for both of us, I'm sure. 


Anyway...onward and upward.  Right? 

Thursday, January 22, 2015

Reporting on the date...

Well...it wasn't a nightmare, but I also don't think it was a match.  A little frustrating, but I'm taking it well. 


So, I meet the guy for lunch.  Now, based on his FB pic, I didn't think I was going to find him super attractive.  And I didn't.  He's my height or shorter and sort of on the thin/small side.  *sigh*  Not his fault...but also not what I'm attracted to.


We get in line to order and he asks what I'm going to order.  And asks how hungry I am (I was ordering soup and salad).  And then asks if I like to eat a big breakfast.  Let's just say...that was fairly odd small talk.  Awkward. 


Overall, the date was fine.  Nothing horrible.  Nothing amazing.  Nothing that made me think there was real potential there. 


Here's something I find a bit odd.  He's divorced (no kids) and probably in his mid 40s...and he lives in a one bedroom apartment.  Is that weird?  I'm not looking for a rich guy to whisk me away...but I am looking for a guy who is somewhat established and a one bedroom apartment seems like a flag to me.  But maybe it's not?  Weigh in...please! 


I talked it over with a couple friends and one of my good friends had really surveilled this guy's FB page.  Apparently, he's a huge fan of the band Widespread Panic.  And I guess he follows them, travels to a lot of their shows...has pics of the band as his cover page, etc.  She said that it's well known that MOST fans of this band do drugs...specifically pot and acid.  Now, it IS possible this guy doesn't do those things...but based on what she knows, she said she'd be surprised if he DIDN'T. 


So...that is weird (if it's true). 


The thing is...  I'm not physically attracted to him and not sure I ever could be.  And that is because there was nothing about him or his personality that made me think there was potential.  While our conversation was fine...I honestly can't think of anything we have in common, other than we both attend church.  And that's true of a lot of people. 


That said...when he asked about going out again, I told him I would.  And then he'd texted afterward and mentioned that again, and I said that would be fine.  Well...he asked me out for tomorrow night...today. 


I'm 99% sure I'm not interested, but I also think it'd be jerky of me to say NO to a date, when I've twice said I would go.  So, I'm going.  I'm going to meet him at the restaurant.  He offered to pick me up, but I'd like the security of knowing I have my own way out.


If something happens and I realize there's something there...then hey, it's a good thing I went on a 2nd date.  If I feel the same at the end of the date as I did on date 1, then I'm going to let him down kindly and just say I don't think we have a connection/stuff in common. 


So, that's that.

Monday, January 12, 2015

New Year...new date?

OK, I know.  I haven't posted in a long time, 3+ months.  Not sure if you've missed me or not, but I'll give you an update anyway.  ;-)

I'm still LOVING my house.  Seriously.  I can't get over how much I love having the extra space.  So happy with it.  And I now have my very own home gym, which is fantastic.  I can work out whenever I want and no longer have to go to the gym.

Um, my ex-friend who cheated on her husband and then they eventually divorced...and she (I think) dated a few others in there...started dating someone else and they got engaged over Christmas.  Let's just say I wasn't happy to read that on Facebook.  I mean, are you kidding me?  How is that possible?  It made me feel like crap, but I came out of it pretty quickly.  And while this isn't a nice thing to say, I don't have high hopes that her second marriage will go well. 


Christmas with family was fine...no major drama.  Once again, my family assumes I have no life and can come home whenever is convenient for them.  Seriously.  So, that was annoying.  And I spent probably $35 per kid (5 kids) and each couple spent $25 on me.  I feel appreciated.  :-)  Oh well, overall it was fine. 


Now, to the point of this post. 


A friend of mine has recently asked me about a potential set-up.  He knows me pretty well and thinks me and this guy would hit it off.  So, when he messaged me on FB, I was curious about it.  I also hadn't talked to him in a while, so I was just surprised to hear from him at all. 


I decided, rather than reply YES right away, to take a few days to think about it.  I trust this friend and he knows the nightmare set-ups I've been on, so I know he wouldn't suggest this unless he truly thought there was potential. 


Here's why I wanted to take a few days to think it over.  First of all, I almost always agree to set-ups right away, just because it's hard to meet people any other way.  So, I wanted to NOT do that this time.  My other concern is that, things are going really well for me right now.  I'm in a really good place...not necessarily OK with being single...but doing well overall.  So, this potential set-up could be a continuation of that good...OR could be a let down, which would be a setback.  I wanted time to think about that and whether or not I'd be willing to take that risk.   


I talked it over with a few friends, prayed about it a little...and decided to go for it.  So, I've given my friend the green light and he is going to pass my number along to the guy.  I also warned my friend about the last potential set-up, where a friend passed my number to the guy...and he never pulled the trigger, other than texting.  And...http://wwwsingleandbloggingit.blogspot.com/2014/03/ughwhy.html

I just wanted him to know that I would prefer that doesn't happen again. 


So, I'm trying to be open.  And calm.  And we'll see if this guy contacts me and sets something up.  I will keep you posted! 

Wish me luck!