Wednesday, December 14, 2011

Christmas cheer?

Oh boy, what happened to November? I'm sure I've had random thoughts to blog about, but, alas, I neglected to do it! Well, some of you are probably thankful for that!

I can't think of anything to catch you up on, so I'll just blog about what's on my mind right now.

So, being single at Christmas. It's sucky.

My family usually goes to church together (whomever is in town that year) on Christmas Eve, and then we eat dinner and open presents afterward. I typically don't have any plans on Christmas Day, but have gone to a movie with my mom the last few years.

Well...this year is different. My out of state sibling and family will be coming here to celebrate Christmas, but they're coming after Christmas. So, we'll be celebrating on the 30th. While I'm glad we'll all get to hang out, I'm a bit bummed that that leaves me alone on Christmas Eve/Christmas Day. I don't know, it just seems sort of depressing.

I literally have nowhere to go/nothing to do on those days. Ya know why? Because I'm single. I don't have my husband's family to visit or time to spend with my own husband/children for Christmas. It's a crappy reminder.

To make matters worse, my dad passed away on the 25th of January, so Christmas Day will be nearly a year since his passing. Ugh.

I know, I know...I'm being a negative Nelly, but I can't help it. And yes, a few people have invited me to spend Christmas Eve with them. And that is SO kind and SO thoughtful, seriously. And I do appreciate it. But, I just don't think I'd have any more fun at someone else's family Christmas than I would just being home alone. The whole time I'm there, I'll know I'm there because they knew I had nowhere else to be. And it's a reminder that I don't belong in that group.

Does this make any sense?

And Christmas is NOT about gifts, I know this. But lately, as I hear my friends talk about their spending limits with their spouses, I want to scream. One friend's limit is $500 PER spouse? I can't imagine asking for $500 worth of stuff! Am I crazy?

We draw names in my family, so I will be getting something that cost $25, and whatever small items my mom gets me. That's it. Grand total will be nowhere near $500!

Anyway, all of this put together has me a bit down about Christmas this year. And maybe, if I feel like this, it would be better to just stay at home.