How fast is too fast?

OK, we've now passed official date #2 with "Ben." The date went well and I had a good time. We finished it off by watching a movie at his house. Before your dirty minds go anywhere...it was all good clean fun. But, he is definitely moving things along. (We saw each other Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.)

So, when I got home...I had this weird feeling of, "Do I like him?" That sent me into a stress spiral for the rest of the weekend.

For all intents and purposes, this guy is doing everything right. I mean, he's a lot of the things I've always said I wanted in a person. And, I do like that he is those things.

But, I'm trying to figure out if it's moving too quickly? Because, I went from being excited that he's texting me...to not sure whether I like him.

Granted, we still hardly know each other. So, I definitely want to continue to get to know him and see what happens. But, I also want to figure out what my "deal" is!

I think I'm under a lot of pressure (unintentional) from friends. I can't tell you how many people ask about it...and then get overly girly excited. It's too much for me. I find it odd that they freak out more than I do! So, part of me feels like I'm going to be "in trouble" or "too picky" if it doesn't work out.

I know I need to just listen to myself and trust my own heart. But, I don't want to miss out on a great guy because I'm scared. I also don't want to force myself to date someone that just isn't a match (for whatever reason).

I am very independent and I haven't really ever had a serious relationship. My guess is that these are big contributors of my little panic attack. I'm sure my mind is thinking, "Really? This fast? So unexpected..."

So, for now, I'm going to keep seeing where this goes. And maybe, as he and I get to know one another better, I can just tell him that I need it to move slowly.

Any advice from my fellow bloggers would be much appreciated!!!

Still going well...

Since our date last week, there have been more phone calls and a lot of texting! I have to admit, it's just good. And, to quote a fellow blogger, it's EASY.

Now, I realize that it's still pretty dang new with this fella, but it is easy. I don't have any of that phone call panic. You know, where you freak out when they're calling and then get nervous to call back. And then you get nervous about what to say...and then what they say, and then what you might say... You get the idea!

And typically, I ask my friends a ton of questions before I do something (such as calling/texting/whatever). Not this time. If I want to text him, I do. If he feels like calling me, he does. There are no games!

Now, normally, I would say that I wouldn't want to meet a guy in a bar, or discuss politics and religion early on. Those are pretty hot topics and I think it's best to wait a bit. Here's what's funny... We met in a bar (but not by chance), we discussed politics on our first date, and we discussed religion on one of our long phone calls. Luckily, neither of us are offended by the other's stance, so we're fine. But, it's just funny.

We like each other, plain and simple. And that, is a welcome change of pace from my usual dating debacles!

Part Deux - SUCCESS!

Finally, a positive dating experience to blog about.

I went out with "Ben" on Saturday night. We joined up with a few other couples at someone's house. It was a great night! We had great conversation (between the two of us) on the drive there and back. I think it was clear by the end of the night that we like each other.

I actually walked into my house and thought, "Yep, I like him. Uh huh." I never say that...trust me.

He and I discussed making plans to go out this week, so I figured I'd hear from him. Well, he texted and then called me yesterday afternoon. I'm so glad he didn't do the "wait two days" thing. We already have plans to go out this Friday. Yay!

Again, no matter what happens with this one, I already feel validated. When you like someone, you don't care if they call the next day (as opposed to someone you just aren't feelin' it with). And you want to see them again soon. And it feels comfortable when you're with them. I mean, I feel like I just know him. I'm not nervous around him at all.

Anyway, I'm saying prayers that whatever God wants for this, happens (whether it be what I want or not). Because, I'm just glad to be having a GOOD experience, for the first time in a long while.

Cross your fingers for me, blogger friends!

Part Deux is a GO!

So, when I last posted about "Ben" Part Deux, I really wasn't sure whether anything would come of it.

Since then, there have been behind the scenes conversations, with me OK'ing the passing along of my number. I guess he'd recently been on a few dates with another girl, and wasn't sure if he wanted to see where that went.

I didn't really expect to hear anything until after the new year...if at all. Well, surprise, surprise! He called me while I was visiting a close friend. Wahoo! Honestly, when I got the voicemail, my friend and I were like couple of high school girls!

Anyway, I called him back the next day and he invited me to a party (where we both know the hosts). I think this is good. We'll go together, which gives us time to chit chat on the way, but still it's a low pressure, casual situation.

Since setting that up, we've talked on the phone another time, for about an hour. So far, so good. Conversation was easy and there weren't many awkward pauses. I mean, it will have been about 3 weeks since we've actually seen one another, by the time we go to this party. But I think that's ok.

It feels good to have interest in someone again. I mean, this could all continue to go well, or we might not click on the next meeting. Either way, as I said before, it just feels good to NOT have a horrible experience.

Ben...Part Deux?

Last night, a good friend of mine graduated from grad school. So, we went to dinner with a bunch of her family and then on to the graduation ceremony. It was so wonderful to see her complete this chapter of her life!

As we were taking pics afterward, we're gathering up the group of friends that were there. She's making sure everyone is standing next to their spouse and said something like, "Yah, are all the couples next to each other?" And there I was...on the end...a single. So I said, "And me!"

I'm not mad, but it was kinda funny. I've said it before, but I honestly don't think coupled people would be able to do some of the stuff we singles do. I think it takes a pretty strong individual to constantly be the 3rd, or in this case, 7th wheel.

I was thinking about this in the car, on my way to the bar where we were going to celebrate some more.

We were all hanging out and another friend of ours who graduated walks in...with her hubby and another guy. The guy sort of looked like her hubby, so I figured he was some 22 year old younger brother.

We weren't really formally introduced, but sort of ended up chatting and introducing ourselves. Well, we pretty much talked to each other the rest of the night. I'd say for at least a couple hours.

That is the reason for the name of this post - Ben...Part Deux. This guy's real name is the same as the last Ben I posted about. Funny, huh?

Apparently he lives near me and works at a big company in my city (where I used to work, actually).

I could tell that our other friends noticed us chatting and could sense them being all excited and giddy with joy.

We didn't exchange numbers, but I have a feeling we'll somehow be connected. I could tell he was interested and I think I showed that I was (I'm not a huge flirt, so ya never know.) The fact that we exclusively talked to one another and never went back with the group is a good sign.

THIS is how it's supposed to be. Honestly, I hope I get connected to him so we can go out, but even if we don't - this was a good thing. I needed to feel excited and/or interested in someone again.

Ben Part 1 was a good guy, and conversation was good, but there was no real spark, ya know? With this Ben (Part Deux), there was easy conversation and genuine attraction I believe. It's been sooo long since I've had any sort of excitement after a date or meeting someone.

So, no matter what, I'm taking this as a positive step that I'm allowed to be excited about someone and that I deserve it! (which I've maintained all along)

Let's just see what happens with this one!

Out of control...

So, did any of YOU overeat over the last few days? I'm not only referring to Thanksgiving, but the long weekend that followed.

All I can say, is that I have got to get things under some sort of control.

I hadn't been on the scale for a while, but finally risked it yesterday. Phew! No major damage was done. (This might be due to the 20+ mile run I did on Saturday.)

But, I have a few pounds that have taken up residence in my backside and, apparently, don't want to go anywhere. And I can prove this. My pants are all tight in ONE area and ONE area only - the BUTT! Literally, everything else on my body is the same.

We're not talking a full pants size bigger, but the super fun "in between two sizes" situation. This is even more irritating!

Ya see, my issue is not lack of committment to exercise. I am usually training for marathons, so I spend at least 6-7 hours a week working out/running. For the most part, I enjoy exercise. I feel better while and after I do it. I know it keeps me healthy, too.

My issue IS food, specifically - sweets! I love anything with sugar, chocolate, gooey goodness - you name it! And I'm not the girl that can have one little bite and be fine. No, I have to have seconds, thirds, etc. And, I really can't go a day without having sweets (yes, meaning more than one sweet).

Honestly, I bet if I quit eating sweets, I'd lose 10-15 pounds in a matter of weeks. So sad...

Now, I do have some perspective. I'm not overweight right now and I look totally fine (or whatever). But, it's not like I can get away with this forever...my butt is already ticked!

So, I have no grand plan, other than to put it out there to you all...that I need to at least try to be better!

Step-parent?

This post is more of a question to my readers...

Recently, I was made aware that someone in a local club I belong to, is interested in dating me. He's over 10 years older than me and has a daughter. I don't know him well, we've only had a few casual conversations. But, I'm also not sure that I've ever looked at him like that.

I will be frank with you, the questions/concerns that pop into my mind when I think of him are:

• Ooh, he's in his forties.
• Ooh, he's got a kid (and would he want more kids?)
• Ooh, he's shorter than me.

I know, I know. I can hear all of you yelling at me, through the computer. But hey, at least I'm admitting it, right?

Here's the thing. I think we all go through stages of what we're looking for. When I was in my 20s, I wanted someone who'd never been married. Fast forward to 33, and that's not so important anymore. I just assume they've already been married and divorced. So, I could probably get over the age thing.

I've also always wanted to have my "own" family with whomever I marry. This means that I am not really looking to be a stepmother. It does not mean that I judge someone who already has children. It just means, that it does complicate things.

My dad has been married multiple times, so I've had a few stepmothers (he's still with the latest one). The thing is, being a step-parent is a bit of a no-win situation. You will never be the child's mother...and you may always be seen as a threat. The potential up side is that you could have a great relationship with each other.

I guess, coming from a broken home, I've always just wanted to have "my" family. Is that bad? Does that sound absolutely horrible?

The other issue is whether or not this guy in his forties would really want to start having more kids? I would totally understand NOT wanting more, if I already have one headed toward middle school. Again, I'm not even dating him, so I realize these are crazy thoughts.

And my last thought, about him being shorter. Well, that's just standard. When you're 5'11", you can't help but notice that. Again, I've relaxed a bit on that one...provided I'm actually attracted the guy in other ways. (While I do think he's a nice guy, I don't think I find him attractive, but again...haven't thought of him in that way.)

So...to wrap all of this up. I'm being asked if I'd consider going out with this guy. But, I've got all these stepmother concerns and what not, so I'm wondering what you, my readers think. Feel free to judge me!

I know it doesn't hurt to just go out with him...but I don't want to create an awkward situation either.