OK, so last night I went out on date #2 with "Ben." Here are my thoughts.
First of all, I met him prior to the race and conversation was scarce (a little awkward). Then, whenever I ran into people I knew, I wasn't sure how to introduce this guy (that I've been on one date with). Ugh... So, we ran the race and finished maybe 10 seconds apart. Then we stayed for the pancake breakfast and sat with my married friends and her parents. Awesome!
I gotta say, usually a guy I've been on ONE date with, doesn't meet my friends prior to the second date. Right?
So, we part ways and then he picks me up last night. We eat some dinner and then head to the movie. While conversation was ok, I couldn't help but NOT feel a connection with him. Believe me, I tried my best, I swear! And I can honestly say it's not JUST the height/small thing. We have some things in common, but for whatever reason, I just don't feel a click/spark/connection/attraction...whatever you want to call it.
Here's the thing, I can tell that HE does feel said connection with me. Ugh! So, as he was dropping me off, he asked if I wanted to plan on a date the following Saturday. Um, give me a minute, please.
So I told him we could touch base this week. Well, lo and behold, he emails me at 9:47 this morning. Buddy, I get that you're interested...really, I do.
Normally, I just blow the guy off/don't respond (if it's only been a couple dates). I do that when the dates were so horrible, I was traumatized. For this guy though, he is a good guy, so I think he deserves my reply.
It's icky and no fun, but I'm going to reply to him and be honest, that there simply wasn't a connection. I feel absolutely horrible about it, but I'd feel worse going out with him again and leading him on.
Has this ever happened to any of you?
8 months ago
Oh, yes, this has happened (my Match date #1, this time around). And to take the honest route is always best. It's better than the wondering and speculating that comes with not knowing. If he's a mature adult, he'll appreciate the honesty. Doing the fade out/away is fine, but you think he's a good guy deserving an explanation.
ReplyDeleteYou can't force an attraction. I think I'm the queen of 1st dates as it's just 2nd nature for me to guage physical attraction to someone right away. If it's not there, it's not there and if I can't see myself ever kissing (or more) a guy, then why waste either of our times? Honesty is the best policy ~ it's not easy, but if the tables were turned, I would certainly appreciate knowing (i think) .......
ReplyDeleteI think it's great that A: you gave him a second date even if you were feeling meh about him at first. I think most every decent person deserves a second date. The first date is just too stressful and it's hard to be yourself. I also think it's good that you were honest with him instead of avoiding his calls. I actually have always gone the honest route - I think everyone deserves the truth, instead of sitting around wondering what happened. Better luck next time :)
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