Judgment...advice...all around bad support?

So...as per the usual, I've dissected the "Ben" situation with a few close friends (other than you, my blog readers). I always find it interesting how each of my friends react.

I don't profess to be the best advice giver, but I do believe in thinking before you speak. I also believe in putting yourself in the other person's shoes (as best you can), before giving your opinion.

Let me start by saying that I'm blessed to have a crap ton of fantastic friends. They are from various stages of my life and all of them are awesome! But, I get a bit frustrated when some of them say the things they say...

Most of my friends have never really been single. Typical story - they dated someone all through high school, then dated someone new in college, then married said someone.

I have a close friend who didn't marry until 30, so she totally gets where I'm coming from...although she met her hubby on a blind date. Here I am...on blind date #782, still not meeting my hubby. But, I digress...

Out of the friends who have never been single, I have some that give great advice and are very supportive...and others who say things that drive me batty.

A sample conversation:

Me: "Ugh, I just don't know if I'm attracted to him...not looking forward to the date."
Friend: "Hey, you can't bitch about it."
My thoughts: Um, yes, I can bitch about it. Do you know why? Because, I don't have to be excited when someone likes me and I don't necessarily like them back. Also, you're my friend...so I am allowed to bitch to you. That's how this works...
Friend: "Would you rather be home alone on a Saturday night?"
Me: "Yes, I would. I would rather be home alone (eek, the thought!) on a Saturday night, than out on a date with someone I'm not attracted to/interested in." (crazy, I know)
My thoughts: Is this friend honestly suggesting that it's better for me to go out with someone on a Saturday night, because being alone for a few hours is just too sad? Really? Um, I've been single for a while...and I am fine with being on my own. And my life is so busy right now, that a few Saturday nights IN, would be divine.

One of my friends expressed concern about me, over this "Ben" situation. I explained that there is no reason to worry...just because I wasn't interested in this guy. And then, she asked what was next. As if to say, "Well, you blew it with this guy, what's your next plan?"

Um, this will surprise my readers, I'm sure, but I'm not psychic. I have no clue "what's next." I have no idea if my future hubby is even living in the same state as me. So, I'm just doing the best I can, taking each date as it comes (and trying my darndest to be open minded).

Now, compare that to my conversation with my friend who married at 30. She informed me that I was doing the brave thing by not continuing to date someone I had no interest in. What a fantastic thing to say! Brave!!! I like that! And, I happen to agree. How easy would it be to just date someone, knowing they like you and that you can stand being around them (but nothing more)? If I were looking for that, then I suppose I could have been married years ago. But what kind of marriage would that be? And how is that fair to either person?

Here's to all of us single ladies who are looking for the RIGHT guy and not just someone we can "stand" being around! May we all continue to do the brave thing!