Biggest frustration...

I am a single woman, in her thirties. I've never been married or even in a long-term relationship. These two sentences generally prompt people to explain to me what I should do in order to meet people. And that is probably my biggest frustration.

Most of my friends are happily married and have started their families. While I am incredibly happy for them, the majority of them were never "out there" in the single person world. So, their advice tends to fall on my rightfully deaf ears.

Here are some of the ways my married friends met their mates:

1) High School: Yes, I have a high school diploma. I was active in music, sports, and anything else they had to offer.
2) College: Yup, I went to college too! In fact, I was quite active in many social arenas in college. A wallflower I was NOT.
3) Blind Date/Set-Up: While I won't argue that I've been on more blind dates than any of you, I will say I've been on my fair share. And I've put up with a LOT of weird situations. (Yes, they will be mentioned in future blog posts soon!)
4) Through Work: Yes, I've been a paid employee since graduating college. So, I've been in numerous workplaces where "the one" could have been.
5) Church: I am a woman who regulary attends church and is fairly active in my church.

I mention these things because, if my friends met their mates this way, why do they act as if I haven't been in some of the same situations as them? Duh, I've done all of this, but it so happens that I haven't met my mate through these situations.

Think about it, if you meet your mate in college, you NEVER have to traverse the crazy world of blind dating or set-ups. Essentially, you have not been single in your adult life. Therefore, you do not KNOW what it's like out there.

I am a very outgoing person with a good sense of humor (I like to think). But, people seem to think I should be going out every night to meet people. So...am I to hit the bar scene (which I'm not a fan of) by myself on a nightly basis? That doesn't seem right.

Oh, I know, I should get online, because THAT'S where he is! Let me tell you something about online dating - I'm not a fan. I love that people can choose whether to post their picture. That isn't real life! In real life, you see someone, as they are...which is how it should be online.

So, there you have it, my biggest frustration with being single has nothing to do with being single. It has to do with people offering advice on something they haven't been through themselves. My advice is if you don't know what to say, just listen. It's likely that is what we want, more than anything.